


If It Ain’t Your Love

by chaoticallyclev



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Gen Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-01
Updated: 2010-11-01
Packaged: 2017-10-24 12:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticallyclev/pseuds/chaoticallyclev
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wasn’t lying when she said that she wants to kill people. To murder them, to suck them dry, and leave them in the dust. Yeah, it’s the predator instinct. Yes, this is who she is now.</p>
<p>But also, she kind of just—wants to rip them apart for being human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Ain’t Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "I Want Blood" by Empires  
> vague spoilers up to 2x07 "Masquerade"  
> kind of angsty?

**If It Ain’t Your Love**   


  
She wasn’t lying when she said that she wants to kill people. To murder them, to suck them dry, and leave them in the dust. Yeah, it’s the predator instinct. Yes, this is who she is now.

But also, she kind of just—wants to rip them apart for being human. For being _normal_ and innocent, still able to age, still able to go out and not worry that they’re going to accidentally bite one of their friends and start feeding off of them. She envies that, just like she envies the way they don’t know about the vampires lurking behind every corner, the baby werewolf who’ll be hiding out at the old Lockwood place on every full moon, about the danger _everywhere._

She envies them for the fact that, food is still food to them. When the kids at school get hungry, they just grab a granola bar or whatever and presto! Problem solved. She gets to stare hungrily at the lines of people’s jugulars and breathe deep and steady breaths until she feels more in control.

And she’s hungry _all the time_. It makes her think back to when she was six, and would refuse to eat her dinner because it was peas, or there was too much of that icky Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup crap all over the chicken, and then Mom would be too busy or too tired and she’d refuse to make anything else for Caroline. So Caroline would stomp off to her room and throw herself down on the bed and wake up to a growling stomach. She used to think that’s what starving would feel like. This seems much closer.

Then there’s the alcohol.

She’s never been big on it before, just having the occasional sip of beer at the bonfires and stuff, but now. If she never swallows down the harshness of bourbon again, it will be too soon. It’s been working wonders on her hunger. She still hates the taste, though. Maybe if Damon or Stefan could invest in something besides bourbon and tequila, like a nice champagne or whatever. She liked the champagne at her cousins wedding alright. Hell, she’d even settle for some cheap wine, like the stuff her mom would drink on the weekends, but never finish, so Caroline would sneak a few sips, just to see if it helped with the empty feelings.

It feels like some sort of irony that now that’s exactly what the alcohol does, makes her feel less empty. But it still doesn’t make her any happier.

  



End file.
